Last week, I made the ultimate decision to go back to nursing school. It is what my original plan has been since high school, and I never should have veered away from it. I would probably be graduating this year with my BSN. However...if I get into nursing clinicals in January, I will graduate in the Summer of 2011. Wish me luck. I'm almost there and no I do not plan on changing majors again.
Hope everyone is having a great summer.... : )
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
This aint your momma's Avon!
I have started selling Avon, to earn some extra money on my quest to find full time employment. If you or anyone you know likes Avon, please visit my website www.youravon.com/christyburke and feel free to shop! For those of you not in Mobile, Avon will deliver to you! If you are interested in selling Avon, please contact me as well!
Say Hello Tomorrow, and remember...this aint your momma's Avon!
: )
Say Hello Tomorrow, and remember...this aint your momma's Avon!
: )
If you're going to live in Alabama, there are some things YOU need to know!
First you must learn how to pronounce the major cities...Burminham;Huntsvul; Mobeeeel
Driving Information:Alabama has its own version of traffic rules. The truck with the loudestexhaust goes next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tiresgoes after that. Note: Blue-haired ladies driving anything have theright-of-way anytime.
To find anything in Burminham, it is required that you know whereMalfunction Junction is, which is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning andthe end. It may be one of only two 'cloverleaf formation'interchanges in the world. We invented it and only one other city wasstupid enough to implement it again Atlanta -- making them only a weebit dumber than we are.
The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00 . The evening rush hour isfrom 3:00 to 7:00 . Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. If theterm 'merging delays' is ever used by the person reporting the traffic,even in passing, call in to work and tell them that you will be at least30 minutes late regardless of where you are in your commute.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be (at the very least)rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. This applies to male andfemale drivers alike.
You must know that 'I-459,' 'I-59,' 'I-20,' and 'I-65' are the sameroad.They just loop around, cutting in and out of each other's path. We thinkthis was a ploy utilized to confuse outsiders and discourage visitorsafter the War of Northern Aggression.
Always, always, always, find out if it is a race or football weekendbefore you get on any of these highways to travel somewhere. If it is arace or football weekend, stay home. You won't be pleasantly goinganywhere else.
Construction is a permanent fixture in Alabama . The barrels are movedaround in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving alittle more interesting.
If someone has their turn signal on, wave them over to the shoulderimmediately to let them know -- you can be sure it was 'accidentallyactivated'. The minimum acceptable speed on 'I-65' (see above) is 85mph.Anything less is considered downright sissy.
This is also Alabama 's state-highway-sponsored version of NASCAR --especially during rush hour (see above) and everyone in the city is driving at once, bumper-to-bumper. If you are in the left lane and onlygoing 70 in a 55-65 zone, you are considered a road hazard, and will be'flipped a bird' accordingly.
Do not gawk at the woman in the car beside you in traffic who isapplying make-up, drinking a Diet Coke, smoking a Marlboro, andmaintaining a steady speed of 85 mph on I-65 in rush hour traffic. If she is coming from north of Burminham, she might be packing. If she is coming from south of Burminham, she IS packing and is not afraid to use it.
Weather Information:
If it's 110 degrees, Thanksgiving could be next weekend. If it's 10-20degrees and sleeting or snowing, then watch out. Burminham residents consider this 'demolition derby' day and will be all over the roads(front ways, sideways, etc). Please proceed with caution, as you could be the next target.
Seasonal Information:
If you stick to the seats in your vehicle, it is Spring.
If you need to let the car 'get some air' while standing next to it with the doors open for a minute before you can stick your upper body insideto crank it and get the air going, it is Summer.
If you are sweating even with the windows down, driving 55 mph, it isFall.
If you finally turn the AC off and roll your windows up, it is Winter.
General Information:
Do not ever speak during the song ' Sweet Home Alabama 'unless it is to sing along with the lyrics. This is a form of heresy andwill erupt in a brawl if everyone doesn't show 'proper respect' to theband who gave us Free Bird. This is especially true if alcohol ispresent (notice Ididn't say 'sold at this event,' but 'present').
If you ask someone for a 'coke,' they will often ask you, 'What kind?'This is not a trick question. Tell them what you want: Sprite, Dr.Pepper, Root Beer, etc., it is all 'coke'.
All tea is sweet. If it's not sweet, you are in a Chinese restaurant or have crossed the Mason-Dixon Line .
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 of them live inAlabama .
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama , plus acouple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
People actually grow and eat okra.
'Fixinto' is one word.
Thisaway and Thataway are directions.
There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it whenyou're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.
DGeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time itis.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
You measure distance in minutes.
You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,grain, insect or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave bothunlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
There are only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, butrequire 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
The first day of deer season is a national holiday.
100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm'.
We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed ... if our mama says we can drive,we can drive.
If you understand these jokes please forward them to yourfriends from Alabama (and those who just wish they were).
EVERYONE can't be a Alabamian; it takes talent. You might say it's anart form or a gift from God!
Driving Information:Alabama has its own version of traffic rules. The truck with the loudestexhaust goes next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tiresgoes after that. Note: Blue-haired ladies driving anything have theright-of-way anytime.
To find anything in Burminham, it is required that you know whereMalfunction Junction is, which is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning andthe end. It may be one of only two 'cloverleaf formation'interchanges in the world. We invented it and only one other city wasstupid enough to implement it again Atlanta -- making them only a weebit dumber than we are.
The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00 . The evening rush hour isfrom 3:00 to 7:00 . Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. If theterm 'merging delays' is ever used by the person reporting the traffic,even in passing, call in to work and tell them that you will be at least30 minutes late regardless of where you are in your commute.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be (at the very least)rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. This applies to male andfemale drivers alike.
You must know that 'I-459,' 'I-59,' 'I-20,' and 'I-65' are the sameroad.They just loop around, cutting in and out of each other's path. We thinkthis was a ploy utilized to confuse outsiders and discourage visitorsafter the War of Northern Aggression.
Always, always, always, find out if it is a race or football weekendbefore you get on any of these highways to travel somewhere. If it is arace or football weekend, stay home. You won't be pleasantly goinganywhere else.
Construction is a permanent fixture in Alabama . The barrels are movedaround in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving alittle more interesting.
If someone has their turn signal on, wave them over to the shoulderimmediately to let them know -- you can be sure it was 'accidentallyactivated'. The minimum acceptable speed on 'I-65' (see above) is 85mph.Anything less is considered downright sissy.
This is also Alabama 's state-highway-sponsored version of NASCAR --especially during rush hour (see above) and everyone in the city is driving at once, bumper-to-bumper. If you are in the left lane and onlygoing 70 in a 55-65 zone, you are considered a road hazard, and will be'flipped a bird' accordingly.
Do not gawk at the woman in the car beside you in traffic who isapplying make-up, drinking a Diet Coke, smoking a Marlboro, andmaintaining a steady speed of 85 mph on I-65 in rush hour traffic. If she is coming from north of Burminham, she might be packing. If she is coming from south of Burminham, she IS packing and is not afraid to use it.
Weather Information:
If it's 110 degrees, Thanksgiving could be next weekend. If it's 10-20degrees and sleeting or snowing, then watch out. Burminham residents consider this 'demolition derby' day and will be all over the roads(front ways, sideways, etc). Please proceed with caution, as you could be the next target.
Seasonal Information:
If you stick to the seats in your vehicle, it is Spring.
If you need to let the car 'get some air' while standing next to it with the doors open for a minute before you can stick your upper body insideto crank it and get the air going, it is Summer.
If you are sweating even with the windows down, driving 55 mph, it isFall.
If you finally turn the AC off and roll your windows up, it is Winter.
General Information:
Do not ever speak during the song ' Sweet Home Alabama 'unless it is to sing along with the lyrics. This is a form of heresy andwill erupt in a brawl if everyone doesn't show 'proper respect' to theband who gave us Free Bird. This is especially true if alcohol ispresent (notice Ididn't say 'sold at this event,' but 'present').
If you ask someone for a 'coke,' they will often ask you, 'What kind?'This is not a trick question. Tell them what you want: Sprite, Dr.Pepper, Root Beer, etc., it is all 'coke'.
All tea is sweet. If it's not sweet, you are in a Chinese restaurant or have crossed the Mason-Dixon Line .
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 of them live inAlabama .
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama , plus acouple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
People actually grow and eat okra.
'Fixinto' is one word.
Thisaway and Thataway are directions.
There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it whenyou're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.
DGeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time itis.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
You measure distance in minutes.
You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,grain, insect or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave bothunlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
There are only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, butrequire 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
The first day of deer season is a national holiday.
100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm'.
We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed ... if our mama says we can drive,we can drive.
If you understand these jokes please forward them to yourfriends from Alabama (and those who just wish they were).
EVERYONE can't be a Alabamian; it takes talent. You might say it's anart form or a gift from God!
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